Please use option on connection to point to the libmysqlclient.21.dylib for MacOS, libmysql.dll for Windows or libmysqlclient.so.21.2.31 for Linux.
You can just include the dylibs/DLLs in same folder as the application and point to them.
For macOS the libraries are signed and notarized, so you may be able to use them. If you include them with your application, you may need to code sign them again.
The whole package is a convenience thing, so you don't need to find those files on the mySQL download page.